Friendships are somewhat complicated in themselves. It is hard to generalize what characteristics are important in a friendship because sometimes I just share a connection with someone. With that being said, I believe that a majority of my friendships can be considered acquaintances. When I think of a really close friend, I hope that I can trust them. I also hope that they can accept me for who I am with all my vulgarity and weirdness. I desire someone that is a good person, and would not throw me or anyone else under the bus for their personal gain.
With friends I have maintained a “three strikes” rule over the years. Usually by the third strike I can tell that the person is an unbelievable sociopath, and I am better off without someone like that in my life no matter how many times we have laughed till we cried. Respect is also very important on both sides of the friendship. Just as I believe that someone should uphold respect for me, I also believe that once I lose respect for the other person, the friendship has dwindled, and it is not beneficial for either party to be friends anymore.
I feel quite the same about my intimate relationships as I do my friendships, but it has not always seemed that way. I have been known to let my significant other walk all over me. Even when the relationship was over, I would still pine for them. I believe that in intimate relationships many people give parts of themselves that they would never give to anyone, family or friend. Sex is a huge factor. We are such an insecure culture, and when we have given ourselves to someone in a sexual way it is a huge blow to our little ego’s when the person does not want anything to do with us days, months, and years down the road. So much so, that sometimes it negatively affects future relationships.
I still feel that it is not all lost. Though I have had negative experiences in relationships and friendships, it does not keep me from loving. I am just much more selective. My boyfriend Christopher has been like a knight in shining armor. He is so supportive and understanding. Though he has had similar issues in relationships like I have, he completely trusts me. I have never felt so beautiful to a man in my life. Christopher constantly reminds me of my worth and always raises my spirits when they are low. I never thought that someone would say to me that I improve their quality of life, especially more than once. It is so nice to hear someone say that to me because that is what I always strive for in my relationships - making my companion feel, see, and hear their true worth to me and this world. We have awesome communication, and the fact that he is ridiculously attractive is like a cherry on top. Those damn husky blue eyes are a killer every time.
Being that I am a full-time college student in a serious relationship, it is much easier to maintain my intimate relationship than it is my friendships. I live with my partner; therefore, there are no missed connections. Some of my close friendships have dwindled because I simply do not have time to devote to them. I do have one friendship that maintains itself, but that is mostly because we have been friends for seventeen years. We know one another so well that it is just silly for us to make assumptions that our friendship is failing. We always pick up right where we left off.
I am not a religious person, but I feel truly blessed with the relationships I have with my friends and my companion. It feels like a combination of luck and aging that has gotten me to this point in my life. Without the maturity that comes with age to acknowledge how lucky I am I would be sitting here sulking in the depravity of the world. Life is a learning experience, and the relationships we have with other people revolve around that life. Without social interaction and relationships, everything just falls out of balance because it is the gravity that keeps our feet planted on the ground.
No comments:
Post a Comment